Saturday, December 01, 2007

A couple of my favorites

From Jared's myspace page...

On Guitar Hero

Guitar Anti-Hero
Current mood: aggravated

Quite possibly the dumbest game ever created by mankind would be Guitar Hero. Sorry to be the one to break the news to you but you can not apply the skills you "learn" in guitar hero to anything practical in the real world. Here's a novel idea, how about you learn to play a real guitar?! Because that would be too stimulating and challenging....

So you think you can impress the ladies with your mad guitar hero skills? No, its quite ridiculous sitting there thinking you're "in the band" trying to attempt Smoke on the Water for the 3rd time in the row because you can't press two buttons when the TV tells you too. Monkeys trained by the Soviets that were used in early space flights can most likely kick your ass in guitar hero, if not be able to play at the same level as anyone else.

So please spare us all the horrible rendition of Carry on My Wayward Son and just do something practical and less ridiculous looking.

Lake City
Lake City...more like Liar City
Current mood: annoyed

I think the time is right in my MySpace blogging rants to talk about one of the biggest things that bug me, and that is the City of Lake City, Minnesota.

From the very beginning of my college career Lake City and I didn't get along. It began on a Friday morning late in my senior year of high school when I was accompanying my friend Ashley down to Winona for a day of exploration and discovery during Tartan HS's senior skip day. On the way down to Winona Ashley was pulled over for "speeding" on Hwy. 61 in downtown Lake City. I knew from that moment on that the relationship between Lake City and I would be a rocky one.

During my freshman year at WSU several colleagues and I made a discovery about this "birthplace of water skiing." We've noticed that whenever you pass through Lake City you never see ANYONE water skiing on Lake Pepin (Lake City's "lake"). This is a problem being that Lake City prides itself on being the "birthplace of water skiing." At first I decided to try and help Lake City with this problem by writing them letters concerning a 24-hour water skiing proposal that would validate their claim. But this proposal was eventually ignored, and Lake City continues to lie to itself, it's citizens, and southeast Minnesota. The 24-hour water skiing proposal was actually a speech topic of mine for my intro to speech class. The speech can be viewed on my blog by click here: The Lake City Speech.

Next, is Lake Pepin an actual lake? To me it is a widening of the Mississippi River and therefore not a lake. So technically in it's very name Lake City is lying. I propose that this city now become Wide Part of the Mississippi City instead of Lake City.

Finally, in late September I had the pleasure of being stopped by a Wabasha County Sheriff Deputy for "speeding." According to the Deputy I was going 70 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, it is because of this I was issue a ticket. Where did this take place? Why just outside of Wide Part of the Mississippi City. Luckly the ticket is now non-existant due to the Wabasha County Safe Drivers Course that allows you to get rid of speeding tickets for first time offenders.

So let's recap:
1. "Lake" City pulled over my friend Ashley in spring 2004.
2. "Lake" City makes claims such as "the birthplace of water skiing" and does nothing to validate the claim, even though a concerned citizen of the region makes a proposal to fix their situation.
3. "Lake" Pepin is acutally a wide part of the Mississippi River
4. I was pulled over just outside of "Lake City." That's four strikes against them! They've struck out and then some!

So therefore, Wide Part of the Mississippi City is on my "on notice" list, along with other things mentioned on this MySpace blog.

And lastly, Jared's "On Notice" list
These are all the things that are "on notice" with me, which means they better change or get their act straight before something bad goes down, and we don't want that now.

On Notice: -
City of Lake City-
Rochester Post Bulletin Reader Comments (
David Hasselhoff- People who drive motorized tricycles-
Woodbury mom's who let their four year old kids order their own food at Noodles and Company-
People who haven't seen the 1986 blockbuster hit Top Gun starring Tom Cruise, Anthony Edwards, Kelly McGillis, and Val Kilmer.-
Anti-Mocha people -
Ladies who run around 4th St. in front of Bub's in Winona and yell at their dog Rufus-
The popular 1990's boy band New Kids on the Block-
MySpace bulletin surveys -
Seagull in front of Kryzsko Commons, Winona State University -
The new Coke display fridge at Mugby Junction on Huff St.



Berne said...

I don't drink coffee and doubt I've ever had a mocha...I'd probably be on notice too :-)

sam94 said...

You would really hate Utah. Great writing. Check out my blog to learn about a problem that is huge and is going on right in our backyards;